Life...: Crossroads

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Crossroads

I'm at a crossroads in my life. I really want to teach, any subject any grade any school, it doesn't really matter, I just want to teach. I would LO-OVE to teach at Highland Park where I did my student teaching, but they haven't called even though I sent a letter.

So, here's the dilemma. I have a second interview at Rivermont today. The position is part-time, and the pay is not that great. The principal pretty much told me unless I get endorsements in Special Ed. I won't ever be able to teach there, so it will just be "a paycheck". I also applied for a substitute position with RCPS and was hired. YAY - not really. I don't mean to be selfish but I want my own classroom, with my own students, and my own lesson plans, and my own kids giving me a hard time, and having a good or bad day in my own place. I want a place to call home, a place to permanently place my beautiful hot-pink post-it note holder.

So - what is a girl to do? I could sub. and hopefully a principal will love me and hire me and I will call this new place home. Or I could take the counselor job, work on my endorsements and Masters and hopefully teach at Rivermont in a year or two.

Blah, Blah, Blah. I'm going to take drastic measures now, I don't know what, I don't know what I'll do - but there has to be an answer!

2 comments:

ChelsieAugust 4, 2010 at 8:54 AM
My words of wisdom for you:

Take the substitute job. You WANT to be a classroom teacher- not a counselor. You WANT to be in public schools working with children and helping mold and shape their futures! You don't want to be a part-time counselor in a private school (well, city run, but still not "public"). Your dream is NOT to be at a school like Rivermont and being there is not going to get you closer to your own classroom at Highland Park! Substituting for the city that you want to work for in the schools that you want to make a home in-- will put you CLOSER to your ultimate goal. I know it is hard right now. I know you feel torn down and like you are being stretched in unexpected (and possibly unwanted) places... but you have to just suffer through this. Substitute for the city- get your foot in the door. Remember your dreams and reach for them. Don't change your mind because you feel like you will never get a job. I can ABSOLUTELY guarantee that you WILL have a teaching job (with your own classroom full of wide-eyed elementary schoolers). Maybe this won't happen this year- but it WILL happen! Also, remember that all hope is not lost for this year. It could still happen. And if it doesn't... well then it doesn't. Don't go rushing back to school for a degree that you don't necessarily want and don't take a job that will not help you reach your ultimate goal. Remember that you were made for this, trained for this, and want this. GO FOR IT!

Love you <3 CHEER UP, BUTTERCUP!
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JessicaAugust 4, 2010 at 9:30 AM
thanks Chelsie you are an awesome friend!!! We will do this - it's just discouraging at times - and I don't think any programs for UVA or VT start until next fall, so rushing is not an issue! Love you too and I'm a cheered up buttercup - now!
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Things I Love the Most:

Things that I love the most:

The way Meagan says I love you, it melts my heart, oh and
the once I year I get to see my nephews, because I miss them so much!

The smell of honeysuckle when the spring wind blows,
and how the sunlight heats my face.

The feeling of falling in love, and the hard work it takes to stay there.

Post-It notes, school supplies, new pens and pink erasers.

Pouring my heart out on this blog, and not caring who reads it because it is who I am.

Books for kids, books for adults, books about life, books about love and books on self-improvement.

Laughter, the kind that makes you cry or pee in your pants, laughing at the silly things life holds and at the mistakes I make.

The way a child's face lights up when they realize they do "get it", and knowing that I helped them get there.

Instant gratification, even if it takes a while to get.

Peanut M&M's and decorated cupcakes, but most of all enjoying them with a friend.

The way he pushes my buttons since I'm so cute when I'm angry, and then we laugh.

Having a tiny hand in mine as we walk to the park, when you know you are their protector and guide, and somehow they know they are yours.

The smell of suntan lotion in the summer, the sun at the beach, and the pages of an old book.

Good friends, the kind you consider your family, the ones that don't leave when times are rough, the ones that don't disappear when life goes off course, the ones that don't quit or let you quit when you are tired.

Crossword puzzles, learning new words and their meanings, and then using them in a sentence so someone else can learn them too.

Most of all, I love life, I love the little things in life, the big things in life, the dreams that do come true, the fairy tale that awaits and knowing that God does have a plan, even if I don't know the outcome, I know - that my life is the way it is for a reason.

Favorite Poem:

This is what we are about:
We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold the future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We must provide yeast that produces affects beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something,
and do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way....

We may never see the end results,
but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders,
ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
~from a poem by Archbishop Oscar Romero

Where I'm From...

Where I’m From

I am from that old wood stove that crackled and hissed at night,

By the rocking chair where you were held tight.

I’m from up the hill, under the pine tree where the sap stuck to my toes

From the mile long clothesline stretched across the yard,

From the home inside that buzzed in the summer and stung my nose.

I’m from the swimming hole filled with tadpoles that hatched,

From the toads under Granny’s trailer we used to catch.

I’m from the sweet smell caught in the breeze,

OH that honeysuckle made me sneeze.

I’m from the bus stop where I got my first kiss,

And when my daddy found out he was....

I’m from Andy Griffith reruns, Heman and She-ra shows, cassette tapes I made for my friends, star bright, light bright, and bears that cared.

From leg warmers to rolled down socks, tight rolled pants and where turtle necks, and sweaters, were paired.

I’m from the Little House on Prairie and plenty of Hail Mary’s,

From standing on my knees and those old rosary beads.

I’m from that pan of shepherds’ pie for

which I despised.

I’m from snow so deep you couldn’t see my house,

Even though I was tiny as a mouse.

Christmas with cookies and milk, stockings that hang, newspaper wrapping that covered a doll, when all I wanted was a basketball

OH- and turkey for carving.

Where I’m from you’re not made of glass, children are seen and not heard and we don’t have enough money to heat the whole world,

and by the way eat your veggies because children in Africa are starving.

These are my memories,

Those were the days.

To Be A Teacher Means...

To embrace diversity and love every smile regardless of learning ability, physical capability, color, race, religion, or any other discrimination people face.

To not only love to teach people to think for themselves, but love to be ever learning and ever evolving into something greater.

To try not to change the world, but to change a child, make them be their best even if you have to give them a piece of your soul.

To be your best everyday, even when it seems that you have given your all.

To fight for social justice, because it is right, moral and a social necessity.

To know that teaching has its successes and its failures. If a teacher isn't making mistakes then they are probably not taking risks.

To take risks and learn from the mistakes.

To have a classroom that feels like a home, where I, my students and their parents can feel comfortable and loved.

To overcome the daily challenges of teaching with a smile on my face and a warm heart.

To teach the "unteachable" - to have someone learn something when every other teacher said they were "unteachable".

To not lecture of group of young minds, but lead them through thoughts and questions they have about the world.

To know, I am good at what I do because it is my passion - not just a paycheck.

To always remember I was born to teach, and this I shall do - someday :)